Nothing but Pestilence
by RuthlessXenomorph
Summary: L, Light, and Near (Mostly Light and Near) have invented a time machine to take them into any demension of their choice. However, a problem occurs. Can they learn to get along with Naruto and his friends? Or are they too degrading for their taste?
1. Teleportation

Chapter 1

~ L's POV

Light rushed in the room, out of breath. I sat in the computer chair, sucking on a lollipop. A smile appeared on his face, and then he nodded. I dropped the sucker and rushed to wherever he was working on the machine. Near sat on the floor, staring at me as I inspected it. "Have you tested it?" Light looked through a few papers attached to a clipboard. "Yes. We searched through the rat's memory. He definitely passed." "May I?" He handed me the clipboard. I flipped through the papers, scanning the information. "Hmm…" Light walked to my side, "What's the matter?" "Huh? Oh, nothing. I was just reflecting on our past tests. Most passed, but not all. It has to be perfect in order to work properly for a human. Our next subject will have to be one." There was silence as I left the room.

+ Naruto's POV

I headed for the Hokage's Mansion with Sakura for our next mission. Once we finally arrived, Grandma Tsunade gave us another crummy mission. Again we argue and as always, she doesn't give me a decent mission. Then, Sakura drags me out of the office and we're stuck with it. This time, we had to travel all the way to the Land of wind and help the sand ninja with more Akatsuki trouble. Why would they still be bothering them? Didn't they manage to get the demon from Gaara already? Or was that a ruse to kill off Lady Chiyo? I'll go with the most logical explanation . . . the second choice. Sakura and I—who were also accompanied by Kakashi—made it through the village gate and started our journey to the Sand Village.

~ L's POV

It hadn't been but fifteen minutes and Light came bursting through the doors again. "L, it's Near. He went through the teleporter!" We got to the room, it was empty. I looked at the screen the teleporter was hooked up to. What Light claimed was true. Near was out and about in a different dimension. "He's fine, no damage has been done. His memory's intact and normal on his physical well-being." Light began pressing buttons. "What're you doing?" He looked up at me, "What do you think? We're going after him." "No, bad idea. Who will be here to bring us back?" He grinned, "Just bring the portable kill-switch." I was dumbstruck, surprisingly, "Kill-switch?" "Yeah, Near and I came up with that. Sounds pretty badass right?" ". . . No." He rolled his eyes. He stepped through, disappearing before my eyes. I checked the screen. It took a few seconds, but his face came up. Same as Near, nothing the matter.

I pushed some buttons, took a breath, and walked through the hypnotic mixture of colors. When I arrived in the other dimension, I crashed into a couple of people. Light had come before me, however.


	2. Reminicing

Chapter 2

~ L's POV

I picked myself off of the ground, spitting out dirt as I did. Suddenly, I realized I just went through the teleporter. Sure it wasn't that bad, but damn, those swirls really get your vision impaired. Light grabbed my arm and helped me up. I saw whom we knocked into. A young man, blonde and semi-tall, a girl, pink hair and average height, and a grown man, tall with silver hair, a mask hid his face. They too got up and scanned us. "Who the hell are you two? And why are you dressed like that?" I looked down at my clothing. Nothing changed. I viewed the boy's attire, "Have you looked in the mirror lately?" He gave me a scornful glance, then tugged on the girl's shirt.

She stepped forward, "What is your business here?" "We're looking for our friend. We were taking a stroll and he somehow thought it was a necessity that he go off on his own." She was eating it up, and Light just played along. "So, what? You thought it would be easy to find him by falling out of the sky or something?" The boy inquired me. I ignored his insolence and walked around them, Light right behind me. "Hold up," She said, clutching my collar. "You can't go in there unless it's an emergency or you have a pass from your village." Village? What time zone did we travel to?

I quickly came up with a little white lie. "And you're telling me that finding—not only our best friend—but one of the smartest people alive, and master of strategy, isn't an emergency?" They stood there, puzzled. I shook her off and proceeded to the inside of this…village. However, they weren't too far behind. I guess they figured that we were more important than whatever it was they were heading out for. When they were out of earshot, Light questioned, "_Is_ Near one of the smartest alive? Better yet, is he a master strategist?"

"Evidently not, but it was just the boost we needed to get inside. We need to explore this new world if we're going to complete our research." Light sighed. I turned to my side and stopped in my tracks. When the other two reached us, I acted as though I was eternally depressed. This would elicit their attention and send pity through their mind so I would no longer seem to be a threat. Quite frankly, I was just getting tired of them following us. "Oh, we're never going to find him! I'm the worst friend ever! How could I let him leave?" Light was tormented with my act. Watery eyes and some tears running down my face would surely do the trick.

I added a little drama by dropping to the floor and hiding my face in my hands. The boy stepped forward and put his hand on my shoulder while kneeling down to my level. "Hey, you're not a bad person only because you lost your friend." I peered up at him and dropped my hands. "The good thing is you're out here looking for him instead of just leaving him all alone." The girl stepped forward, "We should go speak with Lady Tsunade. She'll know what to do." The man in the mask just looked at me plainly.

We reached this lady's . . . house, I believe it was. When we walked in, she looked quite irritated at something. "I thought I sent you three off on a mission?" "Yes," the man answered, "but we ran into these two boys and decided to bring them here." Boys? Do I really look that young to him? The woman just stared at me, not even glancing at Light. I glanced around the room, and then took a breath. I approached the desk and held out my hand, "I'm sorry, we haven't been properly introduced. My name is L. This is Light." He smiled happily. She looked at my hand.

"Well, L, what is your business here? Don't you understand that I have more urgent matters to attend to?" "Like getting drunk and skipping work? Just listen to the guy!" The boy remarked. I paused; there was no need to be increasingly rude. "Light and I are looking for our very close friend. He is not only important to us, but to our, uhh, village, as well." "Hmm, and what village are you visiting from?" My hesitation only grew suspicion. I took a guess at whatever came to mind, "Uhh, waves?" "Oh, and do they all dress like that?" She chuckled. What was it with everyone picking on us about our clothes?

Light relaxed and took a breath of relief. Are all the names for places this easy to configure? Based on the evidence I would conclude, yes.


End file.
